Recommended Books

Author: Margaret Nicol

Title: ‘Loss of a baby’ – Understanding maternal grief

Publisher: Bandam Books by Transworld Publishers Australia (1989)

Summary: A passionate insight into how woman react to miscarriage, still birth or cot death. With the use of ‘true’ stories, the author aims to help bereaved parents with their feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Strengths: Factual and easy to understand. Stories are true.

Weakness: The book is written more for the female rather than for both parents.

Appropriate for: People grieving the loss of a baby.

Author: Paul Arnott

Title: No time to say goodbye

Publisher: Albatross, Sutherland Australia (1992)

Summary: Paul Arnott describes his experiences after the death of his son through cot death. As a Christian minister, he works through the questions he is faced with and his insights from other parents facing the death of a child, particularly sudden death.

Strengths: Clear and easy to read. The author has also experienced a death so knows what he is talking about.

Weakness: Some may not enjoy the Christian content of the book.

Appropriate for: Grieving parents, particularly parents of SIDS.

Author: William Sears, M.D.

Title: ‘SIDS’ – A parent’s guide to understanding and preventing Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Publisher: Little, Brown & Company Ltd (1995): Canada

Summary: A practical guide to assisting parents to prevent SIDS. William Sears provides information on research as well as his own considered theories and studies.

Strengths: Easy to understand, practical handbook to assist parents who are worried about the risk of SIDS as well as those who are grieving the loss of a baby who has died of SIDS.

Weaknesses: A lot of information on prevention of SIDS with only a small section on grief.

Appropriate for: Any parent who is worried about SIDS or who has lost a baby through SIDS. More appropriate for parents who have lost a baby through SIDS and are expecting a new baby, to alleviate the worry.

Author: Donna Hohmann Ewy and Rodger Frank Ewy

Title: ‘Death of a dream’ – Miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn loss

Publisher: Praeger Publishers (1980): USA

Summary: This book explores experiences of parents who have lost their babies and their dreams and gives helpful suggestions. An excellent resource for support people and relatives.

Strengths: Full of lots of information and practical suggestions. Assists support people to understand how the bereaved are feeling.

Weaknesses: Some parts are a bit outdated and could prove unhelpful.

Appropriate for: Any grieving parents, support people and relatives.

Author: Bev Gatenby

Title: For the rest of our lives

Publisher: Reed Publishing (NZ) Ltd, 1998

Summary: Bev Gatenby draws on her own experience of her daughters death and the experiences of many parents she has interviewed. She acknowledges and describes the pain and loneliness of grieving, the complexities of the lives of bereaved parents, the change in relationships and the way parents develop of being able to go on with their lives.

Strengths: Author, Bev Gatenby is a New Zealander and writes for other New Zealanders. Perspectives on Maori grief are also included.

Weaknesses: Grief not specific to SIDS.

Appropriate for: Grieving families.

No matter how deep your grief and how great your pain, remember that you are not alone. SIDS support groups are here to help you through this difficult time, just as we have been helped by others who have travelled this road before us.

Because SIDS occurs unexpectedly and usually at home, nearly every parent feels in some way responsible for the baby’s death, until the facts are explained. It is very important that all those touched by a SIDS death understand that SIDS has no specific symptoms, that SIDS occurs in the best of families, and that it occurs to the most capable, careful and loving parents. Many newly bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings find comfort in speaking with other SIDS families. Our support groups provide opportunities to connect with other families and share experiences.